Tuesday's testimonies are from current and former Pureheart counselees. Most of these men and women have broken free and now walk in consistent purity and/or healed marriages but some are still in process. These brothers and sisters, married and single, represent a wide spectrum of ages, races, nationalities, denominations, backgrounds, personalities, and levels of addiction and dysfunction but all of them have changed dramatically. If they can change, so can you! For obvious reasons, we have changed their names. Here are their stories (unedited)
I told my wife what I had been doing. Of course, she was devastated. And angry. We agreed to separate—I moved across town. I was sure that divorce was on the horizon. Thanks to my sins, my wife, my two girls, and I would become yet another statistic. I started counseling with Pureheart right around this time. I heard about them through someone at our church. I told Tim that I didn’t have much hope, but God had made it clear to me that I needed to tell my wife everything— even with the risk of divorce. This was my second time around in terms of sexual sin, so it was understandable that my wife felt especially betrayed. When I was younger, I had been addicted to alcohol and drugs but I had managed, basically on my own, to get sober. I couldn’t beat my addiction to porn and sex, however, and so I went to a treatment program in town for sexual addiction. It didn’t really take, for a variety of reasons. I didn’t remain in accountability after the program was done, nor did I really kick the habit of masturbation. My wife, however, thought I was clean, and I went back to keeping secrets. Now, years later, I told her the truth. She found out that after a time of sobriety, I had returned to my habits of looking at porn, and then eventually, going back to lingerie modeling sites and sleeping with prostitutes. Even during this time, however, God spoke to me very clearly, telling me that my only hope in ever breaking free was to get completely honest. I also knew I needed help.
I have been done with counseling now for a year. I have two years of complete sobriety: no porn, no masturbation, no affairs, no sleeping with anyone other than my wife. I did have one close call during counseling when I took a trip away from home, but I resisted the temptation by calling and checking in with my wife and my accountability partners. I continue to meet weekly with a small group of guys who hold me accountable in terms of both purity and spiritual growth. Miraculously, my wife took me back in—again. Our relationship is better than it has ever been and we hardly even argue anymore (we used to fight all the time). I can’t thank God enough for a ministry like Pureheart.